Thursday, March 12, 2009

let go

The world isn’t fair… You meet someone but has to let him go… not because you wanted to, but because you have to. One thing I learned from this experience is that you can never have everything that you wanted or maybe needed. I have loved him so much that it hurts to say “ goodbye” I can’t even bear to read it from this blog right now. But I know, whether it be over now or never, it has to end soon… I don’t want to just wait here and tell myself “ Oh, probably he’ll come by soon.. “ or maybe, “I might be there soon to see you.. “ which would be more than painful..really unbearable. He is getting married. What is the point of asking me when I’ll be there? What is the point of answering my question with an “ it’s a complicated question” instead of just a Yes or No if you are really getting married? And what is the point of us reminiscing everything we did when in fact you’ll be married to someone else, have kids and grow old with her? What’s the point of telling me that you don’t want my last name to change when hers will and she’ll be taking your last name soon? God, I hate this… what’s the point of having an “Us” until this very moment when after all, it’s just gonna be you….all about you…. Please.. let me go now.. say it because I can’t. Tell me that it’s over because I don’t think I can say it. I might wait forever if you don’t tell me to go… L

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