Friday, July 10, 2009

I'm on the sweet food mode

I eat something sweet when I'm upset. OMG. That's it. I am upset. Like really. I don't know but having learned from him that there's a new girl in their account and he went to the interview room to take a closer look at her made me upset. Was I jealous? Maybe. Not normal for me though. But I do hate the feeling like shit@!#$! huh..... I really don't like this. I feel so damn ugly and so damn losyang. Like seriously. I mean.. I'm so ordinary now. No nail polish, no foot spa. No nothing. Just me, my jeans and my shirt and ....oh boy..this sucks. I'm so damn unpretty. Like hell. I feel like I'm a little less pretty..a little less attractive..a little less headturning..everything's not what it's supposed to be. I work so damn hard to get good stats so I have something to be proud of after working too early and this is the prize I get..eyebags..lack of sleep...no social life...and tons of not-so-good in the eye stuff. No fashionsense at all. It's like I'm back to school. I remembered when I was still studying. It's like these. All girls around me are very pretty...very vain while I suck in the corner worrying about my exams, my projects, my grades. C'mon. Is this my destiny? To be forever ORDINARY?? Is this what I get from working hard? I mean... I work for a reason. I deserve something better than this darn feeling of being less human...being invisible in the eyes of everyone just because...just because.. I work too hard and I tend to forget everythingelse including myself. SHUT UP..like please...it's making me insane.

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