Friday, April 16, 2010

Favoritism.

I always feel bad when I know that someone's playing favorites everywhere like at home, at work, in school, in the family... I just feel that it's so unfair. I just question it everytime... like what's wrong with me? why don't you favor me? And I just hate having that feeling that I am not getting the right attention as well. I admit that fact. That's why I'm always trying hard. It's not an easy thing because you are pressured to be the best and beat anyone and everyone just so you could get what you want. I was thinking about this on my home earlier today. I began thinking about what I don't have and it sucks to realize those things. Some of them gave me a pang of pain because I realized that those are far from what I can achieve but nevertheless, if I achieve them...it wouldn't be ME anymore. I realized that I am not the type who would be plastic and say "you look good today" when in fact, you suck in your bohemian skirt because you're too short for that kind of fashion. I wouldn't say I'll take the job just to please you so you think I like taking responsibilities when in fact, if it was your job, you should do it and I should only be doing mine. I wouldn't be the type who would just agree on things because I have my own opinion and mind and if I disagree with what you're saying, I wouldn't give a damn to change what you have in mind, but I won't give up my opinion as well because we're all entitled with our own opinions.

I realized that I'm not the type who would force you to like me and change my entire being like pretend I'm rich and I know all those expensive brands and hobbies just so I can fit in. Realizing those made me feel that I'm really far from the typical teacher's pet or the typical favorite of the boss. And if in case I learn how to play those typical attitudes, that wouldn't be me at all.

One thing that I also realized is that one of my teachers told me before that if you don't have a favorite, you're not human-which proves to be true. Basically because I have a favorite movie, a favorite song, a favorite website, a favorite teacher and a favorite friend. I can never claim to be an EQUAL type of person because I wasn't born to be perfect, I can NEVER be perfect and I don't make the right decisions always.

I just admire the fact that regardless if I wasn't a favorite from the places that I go to, it is an honor to be God's favorite. I realized that God did His best to make me feel like I'm His first priority by giving me the best things that I could ever have. He took away Dad but He gave me a loving Step-dad, He gave me Strength to face life's challenges and he gave me the Wisdom to see through the situations. He gave me Pride so I can face anyone and everyone despite of all my failures. He gave me Trust so that I would be able to give it to people who loves me. He gave me Faith so that I will continue to believe and He gave me Love so I can share it with everyone, in my own simple way.

Each of us are God's favorite and if we feel that some things are unfair for us, we should hold on to what He gave us. We might not be a favorite in this imperfect world but we can at least say that by the end of the day, we can run home to God who would make us feel important: a FAVORITE.

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