Thursday, July 8, 2010

A Sad Chapter...

I just got the rest of my things at home... I saw Mom. Her eyes were swelling. Maybe she cried for her lost child--me. Yes. I am lost. I have a totally messed life. I always wanted to prove myself. I always wanted to hurt and be strong. I wanted to take risks which unfortunately, she doesn't want to allow me to do.

I never thought this day would come. Before marriage, I already left my Mom. I am hurting because of the fact that I left her in a way she never wanted me to do. I don't want to leave but the circumstances requires me to do so. It's either I stay and give her pain everyday or I leave and let her hurt now and tomorrow, she's gonna feel better because I'm gone.

I love my Mom so much. I've always planned to build a house beside hers. I've always wanted a promotion so I can give her a car and take her for a vacation. I understand how she sacrificed a lot of things for me and my sister after my dad died. I wish I could repay her for all of those. But here I am, at a stage when I wanted to grow and I need guidance badly... and unfortunately, Mom cannot guide me anymore because she's tired of me. I'm also tired. I want to die now. That's what I'm feeling.

I'm so sorry Ma..... :'-(

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