Saturday, May 28, 2011

Missing Mark

Just this morning, I was searching for the videos of Wong Fu Productions when I saw their video titled " Together Forever ". I played the video and saw the credits about the song they used. It was the song "Say It Again" by Marie Digby. I was teary-eyed as I watched the video because it was for a couple who just recently got married. The song was really nice and in fact, that song was OUR song when we were still a couple. I even recorded myself singing it and sent it to his phone via MMS.

I was almost over him until the memories haunted me again. I don't know if it was the rain or the song but somehow, I realized I still miss him. I haven't forgotten the things that made us smile during the days that we were together. It's not easy to get over our relationship. I would be lying if I say I'm 100% over him. In fact, when I miss him, I text him even if I know for a fact that he won't reply. I wouldn't care if he rejects me. I just want to satisfy myself.. I just want to let him know..that somehow, I am spending at least 1 hour of my day to think of him out of the 23 hours that I push myself to get over him.

I just wanna wake up one day and not remember anything at all even if that means forgetting the happy times too. It's getting harder each day but I gotta keep my sanity because I have a lot of things to do in my life. Even if I feel so lost and incomplete, I gotta continue with this journey... I don't have a choice.

Sometimes, I wonder what I did to deserve this. I've been trying my best in everything and I give my best to everyone but why won't he give his best to me? Why won't he risk everything for me? Instead, he became a coward and decided to run away from me. I know for a fact that I made him happy. Haven't I done enough? It's so difficult to understand what happened and why it happened. I just wish the emptiness I feel would go away, someday.

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