Saturday, June 4, 2011

My 2nd Successful Day

So, today I wanted to celebrate. First, it was my step dad's graduation and second, I survived my second day being Mark-free.

I thought it was going to be hard but now that I did it flawlessly, I felt proud of myself. I realized what strong woman I am to overcome such pain. It was tough. Nobody can tell me it was easy because they haven't gone through the path that I went through. I was in pain for almost 2 months and I never thought this beautiful day would ever come.

How it started? I was talking to a nice guy the other day. He told me that love is like death, you'll never know when it will come. I realized that he was right. The love of my life could just be around the corner waiting for the right moment to talk to me and build a lasting relationship with me. The nice guy also told me that a bad relationship is as bad for the heart as a smoking habit. It's true and that is the reason why we broke up.. We already have an unhealthy and unhappy relationship. I decided to write down the things about our relationship that hurted me the most but was never at any point, resolved:

1. His bestfriend Haziel.
2. Other girls that were being linked to him in the office.
3. He doesn't like kids.
4. He doesn't want to get married.
5. He has the freedom to be surrounded by girls while I don't.
6. He is stubborn. He thinks highly of himself that sometimes, he ends up hurting me.
7. He acted like a total jerk after the breakup.

So, after realizing those, I felt it wasn't right to love him anymore. Plus the fact that other guys had been wanting to court me since we broke up. So, I texted him and asked if I can already allow guys to court me. He said yes and that he won't get jealous. I decided to text him once and for all. I told him how bad he made me feel when he doesn't reply when I text him. He didn't even bother to ask how I am. I told him all the things he did that upset me. I finally gave up! At long last, I had the feeling that I'm ok already. He didn't say a thing after I said those to him. Maybe he thought I would text him and say I was sorry, just like what I used to do. But now, it's been two days and I didn't bother to text him at all. You know why? Because it's not gonna be worth it! He's goal is not to make me happy and change my point of view on men. His goal was to make himself happy and then dump me because he won't need me anymore.

I am happy I had the chance to talk to nice guy. He inspired me. Now, next thing I gotta worry about: falling inlove again. I haven't given up yet! There's definitely someone out there for me. :)

2 comments:

  1. I hope I am in your shoes right now, but after every break-up each person needs to take baby steps to get back up. You certainly are making yours. I probably will be making mine. There are no fair dealings when it comes to love. Only bad decisions are made within it. We should never hate the person we use to love, but rather detest the decisions they made. In the end, we can never really tell what love has in store for us. I definitely know that you've become stronger. The pain is just a reminder that you know how to love.

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  2. MArt, I can't say i have totally moved on but I am feeling a lot better now. You will too in no time. It's just a matter of accepting the fact that something good has ended and opening your door to better beginnings. Have faith.

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