My relationship with my Mom wasn't the most perfect Mother-Daughter relationship there is. In fact, I'd have to admit that Mom and I are very different. While she's the controlling type, I'm the person who doesn't like being controlled. While she's sensitive about little things, I'm the type who disregards a lot of things. While she gets mad easily, I'm the type who needs to be provoked before I get mad otherwise, I won't react at all.
Tonight marks another challenging night between me and my Mom. We had another argument. But you know what, instead of the usual feeling that I'm upset because she just won't listen, stop and not fight with me, I felt guilty instead. Of course, I knew I did something wrong but you know what? Tonight, I felt more like I want our relationship to be fixed. Since Mark and I got together against my Mom's will, my relationship with her was never the same. I don't know but maybe she felt I neglected her and I chose Mark at the same time, I had the thought that she can't be happy for me because I did not follow what she wants for me again. But God knows that wasn't true. I know that Mom just wants the best for me and I on the other hand wants nothingelse but to make her proud of what I have become. This is one of my biggest challengs because it's concerning my Mom. The reason why I'm here writing this in my blog.
I so wanted to give Mom a hug and say I'm sorry tonight but pride gets in the way. I can't get myself to do it. I just wish that Mom and I can bond soon.. Just the two of us. Maybe then, I'll have the courage to say how sorry I am for all the wrong things I have done. I'm sorry ma.. I love you..