I guess after "shutting" myself down "emotionally" for quite a while, I will be pouring out something "emotional" today. Can't help but do this because I wanted to share with you something that means a lot to me.
I think I found my own version of "The One That Got Away".
I met this guy few months back. the time I met him, I wasn't ready for committment and I knew then that he was on the same page as I am. We dated for quite a while and things went smoothly but still, we didn't reach the point when we wanted to commit. Time went by and we eventually lost communication until recently, we were given the chance to talk. I was very happy to hear his voice again after a long time. His jokes and the sound of his laughter seemed to fill in the emptiness I've been feeling lately. He's like a breath of fresh air to me. Only to realize that I miss him but there's nothing left to do but move on with my life again without him.
Yes, I think I fell for the guy I swore not to commit to or get attached to. I know it was my mistake and I kept on wondering if things could've been different if I told him I want to commit instead of saying first hand that I like him but I never want to commit. I cried really hard yesterday because of the realizations I had. I've been pretty good in handling situations like this. Dating guys or being close friends with guys and not even falling inlove. I'm not playing with people's feelings. It's just that I'm the type of girl who doesn't fall inlove easily. I think that's my biggest challenge.
Now, I'm still thinking. In fact, I don't know what to do. I'm stuck, emotionally. haha! This is crazy. but I'm thankful that I'm still feeling. This proves I'm still human and still capable of falling inlove despite the many failed relationships I had and the many jerks I've met. haha! I just pray I will meet the right guy. I don't want to fall inlove with just anyone. I wanna fall for the right one, this time.