Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Meant To Be

I have been thinking lately... When it comes to work... money... ambition... you can easily claim that it's meant for you. But how about out of the million people you've met in your lifetime.... how do you know who is meant for you?

I maybe one of those millions of people sitting right now at their work desks. Thinking. What is the plan for me? Who is meant for me? After all the heartbreaks, it's so hard to give in to the promise of forever or to the promise of I will always love you because for many times... this has been broken.

I have loved and lost and now that I think I am developing feelings for someone, I am feeling that same fear i have felt months back. The fear of losing someone. And I know for a fact that it's not going to be a happy ending all the time. Or maybe I'm not meant for one. Or maybe I am but just not now. I do not know. But what I wanted to realize is that is this worth waiting for? Or should I not wait at all and accept the fact that no, maybe not in this lifetime because I will never find a man who is loyal, faithful, devoted and caring.... just as I have always prayed for? And it's strange that I think I found that person but under a very weird circumstance that I'm not even sure if I am being tested again if I will fall and hurt myself.

I kept brushing this off my mind. Over and Over. I don't want it now. I'm not ready. But here it goes again. Offering me what I want... or maybe it's just wrapped the way I wanted it to be but I haven't seen what's on the inside yet...

Please.... I don't want to love again and hurt myself. Please... just... spare me from it all....

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