Wednesday, August 9, 2017

The Update


Lately, I've been asking myself about my life. When I look at what I've done since I came to Japan and well, stopped blogging, life has took a massive turn. For one, I have travelled to different countries: England (Yes! Finally been to London!), Malaysia (KL and Sepang), US (New York), St. Lucia and Australia (Gold Coast and Melbourne). Very special places as I have explored and learned so much about their beauty. 

My life wasn't all about travelling though. I have realized things about myself that I never knew was part of me. I learned to be strong, independent, detached. I learned what I want for a career and the kind of management style I want. I learned that I wanna settledown and have a kid. I learned that money is nothing when you're unhappy. I'm 29 today and my life is starting to make a huge turn. Going back to my home country, will finish my degree and then who knows where I will be next? Marriage seems like a distant dream at the moment. Me and my long-term boyfriend broke up, not because we dont love each other. But because life is taking me to a different path. Will I ever settledown? I do worry about it from time to time. Most of my friends have found a life partner and I haven't. I will soon be attaneding parties where friends will start talking about breastfeeding, teething, solid and liquid food for babies... and there. I will be the one listening, stating at them because I have nothing to say. I have no child or marriage to talk about. I know that this scenario will happen sooner or later. That sooner or later someone will ask me why the hell I'm not married yet. And I have to make up a damn good excuse like too much work, too much fun or too much travelling. 

Maybe one day. I hope I will have a great story to write about. For now, let's keep my intro simple. I'm Anj, 29 and single. 

I came back

I know I haven't blogged for ages and I've got a pretty good reason why. Life took me to different places and haven't had much time. But here I am again, in case you wanna know why.

After several years of rest, I came to realize... I should write. I should say something. Express something and share it with the world. Share it with people I do not know but yet relates to my life and my story. And this... this is why I will write again.

Friday, September 5, 2014

The Breakup

Long before I can talk about the bliss of being in a relationship, I am yet to write a story of love and how it ended.

I fell inlove with the same man twice. One before I met him and second after we first met. I honestly thought he was the one. How often do you fall inlove twice?!

The feeling of being stuck in reality and a dream, of bein high on something without taking drugs.. All put in one-- that undescribable feeling you wish wiuld never end. Oh! That very feeling.

I was inlove twice and maybe it was a bad thing. Maybe i fell too much. And before I knew it, it was gone. That very feeling turned to tears, pain, aloneness. I did not see it coming. I have to live with it.

Thats just how relationships go... I guess. Maybe it's just not for me. Maybe it will always be like this.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Christmas and New Year

I haven't blogged in a while. I guess I missed pouring my heart out. Lol

My work as usual, is stressful and time consuming even after the 8 hours shift. I am not complaining though. I still think that I am very lucky. I am employed and paid well. I have a career at te age of 25 and big things lie ahead of me. 

As you might know, I am picky with friends. Despite the need of human interaction, I still chose to rise above the need and settle in waiting for true friends to come my way. I don't have many friends but I can say that I hve very few, real ones.

I met the man of my dreams this year. He is pretty much my male version and I can't help but see more of it everyday. I am not saying he's perfect but he's just the way I want him to be. Human enough to be with me. He knows how to live life and how to live it well. Something that I have always wanted in a man. And he took me by surprise. Thank God I love surprises! :) 

This Christmas and New Year, I won't ask for anything. I will be thankful instead for the life i am living now. For the blessings, the scars, for the life. It won't be easy in the coming years but God gave me so much faith in him that I know every year will always be better. Happy holidays!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Tagalog

Sabi nga nila pagmagmahal ka, dapat handa ka masaktan. Handa kang umiyak. Handa ka sa lahat, masaya man o masakit. Parte yan eh. Hindi pwedeng one sided. 

Takot ako makaramdam. Baka kasi kagaya ng paulit ulit na nangyayari saken, baka mali na naman. Hindi din naman kasi ako yung tipo na nakakahanap agad ng kapalit. Pagnagmahal kasi ako, buo palagi kahit hindi ko aminin. Anong magagawa ko kung hopeless romantic ako na naniniwala sa long and lasting love. Hindi ko alam pero sa ngayon nakakaramdam ako ng takot na baka mawala ulit to... Siya... Handa ba akong pakawalan yung nagpapasaya saken kung sakaling kailangan kong pakawalan? (Itutuloy)

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Difficult

Can I still do this? Is this my limit? I am trying to go through phases and hoping that at the end, I will make it out alive. 

Like a patient in the operating room, I do not know if the process will be successful. I can only hold on to my faith that I ended up in this hospital bed for a reason. To learn, to renew myself and to appreciate once again what life's trials are for. I do not know how this will end. If I will emerge as a better product of pain, sweeter than itself or if I will end up ruined.

Asking God about His plan is all that I have in mind. Telling him to paint me a picture until I see it come to life! I am a waste. Nevertheless, I never stopped believing I have worth. If worth does have its true meaning, I should say.

Life is strange and all I can do is live, hope and pray.