I never thought that I would feel this way. Not feeling so much but feeling it all.
I am, once again, stuck in a situation. Being with someone who is divorced/separated is something new to me. First of all, I am very much single. Never been married. Never had a kid. Initially, when some friends heard about this, the initial reaction was " You can do better than that ". But being the usual, open-minded person that I am, I just understand that some people cannot stay married. Not because that's how it is but because they are humans who feel and are always in constant search for happiness. I'm one of them, although not married, no kids, but I am in search of happiness and I will never stay in an unhappy marriage or relationship just because I know I don't deserve to.
So, this man... Simply amazing that I am not getting too emotional about the situation like when he wants to see his son or his ex wife on Facebook now... It's like I totally understand. It's like I know how his kid feels or how his kid will react in case he meets me. Or how his ex will react to my existence. And I am not planning to be friends with her or anything like that which will just be unreal. But nevertheless, I find it weird that I look forward to having a coffee with her and talking about life before and after the man. And no, not really friends but I am looking forward to an unawkward situaiton when she brings her son to see the man. And that thought of the son also not feeling awkward that I am around. What is this? And I've been typing all these here. I might be judged for this. For being unholy in a sense that I want to be with this man. But then, I don't really care so much. Again, I want to be happy. I deserve to. And I did not break a marriage. They were separated before I came in the picture, at least that is what I know.
Should I investigate? Should I ask around? No. I do not think so. Just because I have faith. Not with him or me or us. I have faith that God is putting me in a situation which will lead me to my destiny. The path he wanted me to take. Whatever my decisions in life are, what's meant for me will always happen. All I can do is pray and pray that even if I get hurt, I will remain strong. That even if I fail, I will get back up and try again. Love again.
And this blogpost, I put the title EVERYTHING because while I am writing this, I am listening to Michael Buble's song with the same title and it runs in my head as well, that this is everything I am. Unconventional. Real. And I will write about this and still stand proud. It's not a perfect situation. But yes, happiness--to me is EVERYTHING.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
In Preparation For My Upcoming 25th Birthday
25 Things I
Am Still Learning At 25
APR. 30, 2013
1. The things you think will kill you, in fact, probably won’t.
2. The things you think won’t kill you, just might. And if they
don’t come in for the kill, they will at least come in for a surprise attack.
3. People will change. And they will change their minds, change
their minds and change their minds again.
4. You will change. And you will change your mind, change your
mind and change your mind again.
5. You must do a lot of things in life that you don’t want to do.
Consider these to be character building exercises, suck it up, and do them.
6. You don’t have to do these things forever and as soon as you
have an escape route mapped out, take it.
7. Keep your escape routes near and dear. Don’t share them too
often, or too soon. Not until it’s time.
8. The longer you stay in the fight, the more battle wounds you
are likely to endure. Never bow out. Never stop fighting for what you believe
in.
9. You are more like your parents than you ever thought was
possible. Embrace every strength and every weakness. There is still much to
learn from them. Soak up as much as you can, while you can.
10. The world may be your oyster, but watch out because it’s
everyone else’s oyster too. It is one giant competitive and relentless oyster.
Keep your eyes peeled and your head on a swivel.
11. There’s no perfect path for your life that you have yet to
uncover. You simply must “do you.” This takes endless sacrifice and a hell of a
lot of heart.
12. Sometimes you have to lose the things you care about along the
way. This may only be for a season.
13. Sometimes you will lose yourself. Just don’t lose yourself for
too long.
14. Most answers don’t come easy. Some answers don’t come at all.
15. It’s okay to question everything. Having more questions than
answers means you are being honest with yourself.
16. Honesty is the first step toward anything that is worth
everything.
17. Many times the idea of something is entirely more appealing
than the actual, even though that grass is looking mighty green over there.
18. Not only is it okay to be selfish when it comes to your own
wellbeing, being selfish is vital when it comes to your own wellbeing.
19. No amount of money in the world is worth more than being true
to yourself. If someone tries to tell you any differently, then as Florence
Welch says, “Run fast.”
20. It’s okay to run. Just be sure you are running into the light,
and that the light is not a train.
21. It’s okay to stay and face your problems. Just don’t stay so
long that you forget how to get up and go again.
22. Although sometimes you may feel comfortable and secure,
comfort and security are merely mirages. There is no artificial safety net
waiting to catch you when you fall. It’s all you kid!
23. The greatest lessons in life are only learned the hard way.
24. The greatest things in life are still found for free. You just
have to look.
25. Life is not a race. Keep a steady pace so you won’t miss out
on the magnificent beauty that is waiting for you around each and every
corner.
So, today I received my sister's omiyage for me and my Mom via her friend from work. I was very excited! Well, since she won't be home when I leave for Tokyo, she decided to send me the bag she wanted to give me just so I can already use it in Tokyo. I was very touched but of course, I wasn't really expecting a gift. How I wish she could be here so we can at least bond before we go our separate ways again and manage our own lives. If I am right, the next time I will see her will be next year which will be the longest time we haven't seen each other in our 20+ years of existence. But of course I understand that this is part of growing up. No matter where the opportunities or the world takes us, we will always and forever be a family.
 |
| Keychains from Barbados, Argentina and Puerto Rico |
 |
| Kenneth Cole Purse |
 |
| Pink Havaianas for Mom |
 |
| Nine West Purse for Mom |
 |
| My Havaianas |
WE MISS YOU GLA!!!!!!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Repeat (Jessie J and David Guetta)
"Repeat"
(feat. Jessie J)
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/davidguetta/repeat.html
(feat. Jessie J)
You're stuck on repeat, repeat-peat, repeat
You're stuck on repeat, repeat-peat, repeat
I can see your mouth move
But I don't hear the words
And while you dig yourself a hole
You're burying me in the blur
I can taste the fake, the shame
I've heard this story before
And while you dig yourself a hole
It's the same shit, different girl
When I was building a home, you made a bed of your own, a perfect little life for three
But now your cover is blown, you get to be on your own, and find another stupid girl like me
So go out and party, cause I'm just getting started
And I'm dancing to a brand new beat
Cause you're just stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
You're just stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
So go out and party, like you're not broken-hearted
Cause you'll always just be stuck on repeat
Cause you're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
You're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
I wanna know, was I the one
Or just the chick on the side?
I gave it all, broke down my walls
You dare say I didn't try
But you won't stop, stop telling me what, what you think I want to know
I'm rejecting the sight of you, deleting the thought of you record this, and watch me go
When I was building a home, you made a bed of your own, a perfect little life of three
But now your cover is blown, you get to be on your own, and find another stupid girl like me
So go out and party, cause I'm just getting started
And I'm dancing to a brand new beat
Cause you're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
You're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
So go out and party, like you're not broken-hearted
Cause you'll always just be stuck on repeat
Cause you're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
You're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
You're stuck on repeat, repeat-peat, repeat
I can see your mouth move
But I don't hear the words
And while you dig yourself a hole
You're burying me in the blur
I can taste the fake, the shame
I've heard this story before
And while you dig yourself a hole
It's the same shit, different girl
When I was building a home, you made a bed of your own, a perfect little life for three
But now your cover is blown, you get to be on your own, and find another stupid girl like me
So go out and party, cause I'm just getting started
And I'm dancing to a brand new beat
Cause you're just stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
You're just stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
So go out and party, like you're not broken-hearted
Cause you'll always just be stuck on repeat
Cause you're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
You're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
I wanna know, was I the one
Or just the chick on the side?
I gave it all, broke down my walls
You dare say I didn't try
But you won't stop, stop telling me what, what you think I want to know
I'm rejecting the sight of you, deleting the thought of you record this, and watch me go
When I was building a home, you made a bed of your own, a perfect little life of three
But now your cover is blown, you get to be on your own, and find another stupid girl like me
So go out and party, cause I'm just getting started
And I'm dancing to a brand new beat
Cause you're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
You're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
So go out and party, like you're not broken-hearted
Cause you'll always just be stuck on repeat
Cause you're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
You're stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/davidguetta/repeat.html
Saturday, April 27, 2013
TRUE.
5 Lessons That Must be Learned in Relationships
Everyone can use some of this advice -- MEN and Women!!
Wow, I'm becoming the relationship advice expert lately!
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.
4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
6. Don't force an attraction.
7. Slower is better.
8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.
11. Don't settle.
12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?
14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.
16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.
18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.
20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.
21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.
24. Be honest and upfront. 25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.
26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).
27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).
28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.
29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard. 31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!
34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.
35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.
36. Actions speak louder than words.
37. Never let a man define who you are.
38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.
39. Never borrow someone else's man.
40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.
42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.
43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life. 44. Love is a verb...
45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
47. All men are NOT dogs.
48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.
50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.
51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.
55. Never become your man's "therapist".
56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.
57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it but it takes two to make it work.
58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.
59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.
60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure him to spend time with you, You can't force a man to hang out with you.
61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.
62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
63. Never move into his mother's house.
64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.
65. Never co-sign for a man.
66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.
67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.
68. Never let a man mess up your credit.
69. When it's time to let go; let go.
70. Good men should be treated like good men.
71. Don't play games.
72. You can't make a whore into a housewife - or husband. (ha ha that's hilarious!)
73. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.
75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.
BONUS - A man who doesn't love his mother can never really truly love a woman!!!!
Wow, I'm becoming the relationship advice expert lately!
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.
4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
6. Don't force an attraction.
7. Slower is better.
8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.
11. Don't settle.
12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?
14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.
16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.
18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.
20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.
21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.
24. Be honest and upfront. 25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.
26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).
27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).
28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.
29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard. 31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!
34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.
35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.
36. Actions speak louder than words.
37. Never let a man define who you are.
38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.
39. Never borrow someone else's man.
40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.
42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.
43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life. 44. Love is a verb...
45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
47. All men are NOT dogs.
48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.
50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.
51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.
55. Never become your man's "therapist".
56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.
57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it but it takes two to make it work.
58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.
59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.
60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure him to spend time with you, You can't force a man to hang out with you.
61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.
62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
63. Never move into his mother's house.
64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.
65. Never co-sign for a man.
66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.
67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.
68. Never let a man mess up your credit.
69. When it's time to let go; let go.
70. Good men should be treated like good men.
71. Don't play games.
72. You can't make a whore into a housewife - or husband. (ha ha that's hilarious!)
73. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.
75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.
BONUS - A man who doesn't love his mother can never really truly love a woman!!!!
Off To Tokyo
So, same month like last year, a life-changing event will take place. I am moving away.
I prayed and prayed to every church and temple that I'd be relocated to Tokyo and it is now happening. What's more amazing is that I wouldn't have to move to a new job since my company is giving me this opportunity.
You know that very feeling when you completely get lost in translation for all the fast-moving things going on? I guess I am at that point. SURREAL. Who would have thought that my prayers will be granted? I honestly think that God is giving me way too much. In fact, to deserve all the blessings lately... I am still in awe. I must have done something right. I must have been good. But still, this is too much. Way more than I have expected.
It's like I am coming to realize all the sufferings I have been through. All the pain. And I feel like I have endured those to get to this day when all I can do was be thankful for everything. Life sure is strange. And though I wouldn't be going for the sake of "money" but rather a fulfillment of who I am and what I will become, it's just amazing.
As you know, I was never a money-driven person. I work because I love what I am working on and who I am working for. I work because there is a sense of fulfillment that I am changing someone's life. I work because I know that one day, the hardwork will pay off, in an immeasurable way.
I cannot find the words to say to express my happiness and gratitude for an answered prayer. I just feel so BLESSED.
I prayed and prayed to every church and temple that I'd be relocated to Tokyo and it is now happening. What's more amazing is that I wouldn't have to move to a new job since my company is giving me this opportunity.
You know that very feeling when you completely get lost in translation for all the fast-moving things going on? I guess I am at that point. SURREAL. Who would have thought that my prayers will be granted? I honestly think that God is giving me way too much. In fact, to deserve all the blessings lately... I am still in awe. I must have done something right. I must have been good. But still, this is too much. Way more than I have expected.
It's like I am coming to realize all the sufferings I have been through. All the pain. And I feel like I have endured those to get to this day when all I can do was be thankful for everything. Life sure is strange. And though I wouldn't be going for the sake of "money" but rather a fulfillment of who I am and what I will become, it's just amazing.
As you know, I was never a money-driven person. I work because I love what I am working on and who I am working for. I work because there is a sense of fulfillment that I am changing someone's life. I work because I know that one day, the hardwork will pay off, in an immeasurable way.
I cannot find the words to say to express my happiness and gratitude for an answered prayer. I just feel so BLESSED.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
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