Friday, January 27, 2012

Dear Soulmate

I was at Boracay last Saturday for 3 things: My Promotion, Kath's Birthday and Chinese New Year. I never expected to be able have time to think about life until I asked for 3+ hours away from Kath to enjoy the place by myself.

I was strolling at the beach, enjoying the sun, hoping to get tan lines and feeling the white sand on my feet.. it was paradise. I've never felt so peaceful. I kept thinking... hundreds of people in that beach, could one of them be THE ONE? I sat down, watched couples enjoy with their kids and I was close to tears imagining if life will be as sweet as that for me.

I haven't seriously dated anyone for 9 months. All I know is that I've been experiencing a roller coaster of emotions. I like this guy today and tomorrow I don't. Very inconsistent. I wanted a simple, very ordinary guy today and yet when I wake up the following morning, I tend to realize I could have been meant for someone better who can match my greatest skills. What is love? Where can I find it? Is there such thing as true love? Or is is just a mere imagination that someone out there is made just for me? I wanted to know. How much am I willing to compromise? How high should my standards be?

I'm all about questions. Maybe because I haven't found the magic of true love. No. I haven't felt it yet even if I had a night sealed with a kiss. Even if my hand was held gently and even if I was hugged warmly by someone. It wasn't what I thought would complete me.

I'm turning 24 this year and I am not getting any younger. I'm not rushing to get married but I don't want to waste my time either. I have been praying so hard to meet someone who deserves me and who I deserve as well. Someone who won't give me the moon and the stars but will give me love, honesty, loyalty and respect. I don't need someone who can bring me to Paris but will bring me ever lasting joy and will keep a strong Faith in God and our relationship.

I may seem materialistic and practical most of the time but behind those words lie a deeper meaning than what  other people may have thought. I just wish someone can read between the lines.... and understand.

This post includes a prayer, hopefully, someone who is reading this will realize that I AM THE ONE as well...,

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Boracay -- Some Pics, Memories of our getaway ♥♥♥

Beach


Enjoying the sun


I love this pic! hahahaa
with Mark, Kath and Roy ( guys are from Holland )

Me and Roy 

They are brothers



me and Nikolay Valtchanov -- the guy works for Facebook and he's a Bulgarian ;) 

Monday, January 9, 2012

Never Told You by Colbie Caillat

I miss those blue eyes
How you kissed me at night
I miss the way we sleep
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in
And now I miss everything
About you
I can't believe I still want you
After all the things we've
Been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your blue eyes
Every time I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to when I'm not
Around you
It's like I'm not with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in
And now I miss everything
About you
I can't believe I still want
You
After all the things we've
Been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in
And now I miss everything
About you
(still you're gone)
Can't believe that I still want
You
After all the things we've
Been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

Saturday, January 7, 2012

What I Really Want RIGHT NOW

I've been reading the book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne . It's like a self-help book on how you can achieve more of what you want in life. One thing they kept saying in book is to think positively and the universe will respond to you positively as well. I guess I have been practicing that for years now, without even knowing and reading the book will help me enhance that ability.

I'm a very simple person but of course, as we grow older, a lot of things change. Right now, I want things that I never wanted before and here's a list of what I want RIGHT NOW, in every aspect of my life. Nope, this ain't a New Year's Resolution but this could be a lifetime plan. I'm out here, starting to conquer the world and achieve my dreams.

WORK:
1. I want a PROMOTION. Additional tasks, tougher challenge to enhance my skills and a salary increase.
2. I want more people to agree on what I want. When I say I need to talk to you for a role, I want you to say YES.
3. I want to be more efficient to the point that my boss can say I'm the BEST person to work with.

LIFESTYLE:
1. I want to buy a RED CAR and a RED VAN.
2. I want to learn how to drive.
3. I want to continue investing in the STOCKMARKET for my retirement.
4. I want to buy the lot beside my parents house and have MY OWN HOUSE.
5. I want to TRAVEL around ASIA. Cambodia, Japan, India, Korea-- I will go there!
6. I want to take my family for a great vacation in Bohol or Boracay and then, to Singapore or Thailand.

LOVELIFE:
1. I want a man who knows how to RESPECT me and my family.
2. I want a man who works hard and spends time with his family as well.
3. I want a man who knows how to take responsibilities but knows how to have fun as well.
4. I want a man who is LOYAL to me and his promise of FAITHFULNESS.
5. I want a man who has big dreams and will do his best to make it happen.
6. I want a man who can equal all that I can do or give but will not try to overpower me at all times.

My One And Only

I guess after "shutting" myself down "emotionally" for quite a while, I will be pouring out something "emotional" today. Can't help but do this because I wanted to share with you something that means a lot to me.

I think I found my own version of "The One That Got Away".

I met this guy few months back. the time I met him, I wasn't ready for committment and I knew then that he was on the same page as I am. We dated for quite a while and things went smoothly but still, we didn't reach the point when we wanted to commit. Time went by and we eventually lost communication until recently, we were given the chance to talk. I was very happy to hear his voice again after a long time. His jokes and the sound of his laughter seemed to fill in the emptiness I've been feeling lately. He's like a breath of fresh air to me. Only to realize that I miss him but there's nothing left to do but move on with my life again without him.

Yes, I think I fell for the guy I swore not to commit to or get attached to. I know it was my mistake and I kept on wondering if things could've been different if I told him I want to commit instead of saying first hand that I like him but I never want to commit. I cried really hard yesterday because of the realizations I had. I've been pretty good in handling situations like this. Dating guys or being close friends with guys and not even falling inlove. I'm not playing with people's feelings. It's just that I'm the type of girl who doesn't fall inlove easily. I think that's my biggest challenge.

Now, I'm still thinking. In fact, I don't know what to do. I'm stuck, emotionally. haha! This is crazy. but I'm thankful that I'm still feeling. This proves I'm still human and still capable of falling inlove despite the many failed relationships I had and the many jerks I've met. haha! I just pray I will meet the right guy. I don't want to fall inlove with just anyone. I wanna fall for the right one, this time.

BORACAY

It's a Happy January! Just got back to work, which I really missed so much and.... I'm flying to Boracay with Kath on the 21st and will be back to Manila on the 23rd! So, basically, we'll be celebrating the eve of Chinese New Year in the beach. Welcome Black Water Dragon! :)

I'm really excited because as you know, I'm a big fan of beaches. I think it's paradise. A very relaxing place. And, BORACAY is one beach that I really love! It's gonna be my second time in Bora. Last time I was there was in 2010. So after 2 long years, here I am.. getting ready to fly again to that paradise.

I'm expecting a lot of partying and fun under the sun! HERE WE COME BORACAY!!!!